The older you get, the more relationship goals you may have. Dating is the thing to do, especially if you’re entertaining the possibility of marriage one day. We all have a list and an idea of what we want in terms of the qualities we are looking for in a partner.
I know I did; I knew what I wanted and how I wanted it. I dated all types of guys, some with great jobs, lots of money, stable, attractive, educated, and they all had one thing in common: their communication style wasn’t compatible with mine so it didn’t work!
I had to evaluate what was turning them or me off. Between our personalities, backgrounds, and communication style, it appeared I would be single for some time because I certainly wasn’t going to settle. That’s an injustice to both parties. My happy ending found me, and he made all my dreams come true. So why did I accept him, as opposed to the other ones? Communication. Yes! This made all the difference.
Why Communication Matters:
Today, many people are all about the credentials and qualifications and don’t get me wrong— they’re important if that’s on your list. Everyone has a list and most often don’t waver from it. They spend a lot of time talking, looking, and searching, but spend very little time communicating.
You may think, how is this possible? Especially if one talks on the phone every day or sees their partner often. It’s because many never veer off from the script they’ve prepared. It’s easy to answer the same questions over and over. You have to wonder if you’re talking to someone for a long time, how is it possible to miss certain traits? I mean, during all that time, what were you talking about?
What Questions to Ask:
You should be asking questions like, how are you when you’re angry? How often do you talk to your family? What’s a typical day for you like? How was your parents’ relationship? How would your employer describe your work ethic? These are questions that reveal the depth of a person outside of the logistics.
When dating someone, it’s critical to ask the right questions; date someone who’s in process, not processing. This means they’ve figured out their life, not figuring out who they are. Their mind needs to be where your mind is concerning the future. The future and building toward it depends on the foundation it starts on. I realized long ago that just because you have a connection with a person doesn’t make you compatible with them.