How to Be Single in a World Full of Couples

In today’s land of Instagram, Facebook, and every other social media site that’s purely visual, it’s tough being single. You can’t check out a post without seeing another engagement announcement or #MCM, #WCW photo. It’s like a breeding ground and a recipe for depression and loneliness. No matter how secure you may be when you’re single, you certainly want a boo at some point. Every night alone is never fun. Here we are, the end of the year and in football season, and to top it off—isn’t it technically cuffing season?

Cuffing season: when you are supposed to be in a relationship with someone for the winter months”

This is the time that some find themselves compromising or tolerating relationships that they know won’t go anywhere! They want something for nothing! My suggestion if you are in one of these situations is to keep it moving! If you are caught up more with the lifestyle of being a couple rather than actually being a couple and overlooking those warning signs where you know this is a dead-end street, get out. Being in a relationship with yourself is definitely more fun “at times” than dealing with the headache of someone else’s personality. It doesn’t make you weak or insecure to think of life with your future better half. That’s a beautiful thing.

So how does a single stay afloat and motivated in a coupled world? 

Dating while being single By constantly being open to the possibility of love. Love on Purpose by Ashley Coleman is a great read that explores the most common issues in relationships and how to use love as a solution. Being in a relationship requires one to be whole, secure, and honestly okay with being single. What ultimately happens with singles is that they spend so much time in the dating zone that it’s no big deal to hop around. They hear all the lines, have all the stories, and are like “It’ll happen when it happens.” This is the mentality you want to stay away from because it creates routine. You want to stay in the intentional dating world, which means every person that attempts to enter into your life leads to one question: Is this going to lead to my end goal? Ask yourself, what is the end goal? If they don’t meet that, let it go! What are your goals for a partner: Is it to be married? Have children? Build a business partnership as well as a relationship? Don’t settle for someone who isn’t part of your goal plan, even if the plan includes “dating goals.”

You have to continue to date yourself while intentionally dating others. You do this by being in self-discovery mode: aware of your changes and likes/dislikes, etc. You must be sure that you’re able to make logical decisions rather emotional ones. For every date you go on, take yourself on one once a week.

There are many singles who have simply given up or replaced the idea of dating with waiting. It’s important to know that you can’t obtain something without the intent to obtain it. It’s also imperative to note that dating is an activity, emphasis on the “active,” and it’s more than having a few drinks and dinner. It’s lengthy conversations, digging deep, matching interests, etc. I suggest stay in and tune in to yourself. Try your best to remove the physical aspect and really ask the appropriate questions to ensure you’re not wasting each other’s time. Your boo will come along, but only when you’re truly ready and have made room for them to enter.

Look at your life: Do you have time for a relationship? Is your routine adjustable? Are you mentally ready for the work that a relationship entails?

Take this quiz by Psychology Today to see if you’re truly ready to date.

Once you get honest with your single status, your couple status will change. Stay encouraged and be patient as time moves on! Do all the things you desire while being single—it’s the only time you get to be selfish and take care of you!

Kyla D. Pruitt is the CEO and founder of KylaNicole, LLC (born and raised in Joliet, Illinois). Kyla developed a passion for empowerment at an early age, dedicating her time and works to inspire, coach and invest in the minds and hearts of both men and women though the KylaNicole Brand and specializes in overcoming Trauma. In stimulating development, self-awareness, and true authenticity, Kyla has accomplished her goals by engaging in and hosting a series of events including “Loud Discussions” panels which feature open discussions of a variety of life themes, helpful tools and concepts from her self-help book titled “15 Ways To Improve Your Reality and from hosting the radio segment “’A VERY Loud Discussion’ “on 216 The Beat Atlanta. By redefining, reshaping, and redirecting mindsets Kyla aim to be a national asset, helping countless individuals overcome and strive in challenging hurdles within the journey of life.

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